One Step Ahead - Rant on Nursing Home Care

Why must I try to stay one step ahead of the nursing home?

I have to make sure the names are on the clothes. Well, that's a given. You don't want them going to another person. It doesn't really stop that but it cuts down on lost clothes. See previous post about getting the names to stay on the clothes as permanently as possible.

I do the laundry. That's to keep the clothes from going to the wrong person even with the names on them. The same clothes get hard washed so often that the names don't want to stay on. See above.

I am now making repairs to the pants. Since my dad is not mobile and can't help himself, the nurses/cnas are 'hauling' him up (whether in the bed or in the wheelchair) by his pants pockets.
This will rip a hole in the pockets in a heartbeat. BIG holes.

In order to stay one step ahead, I am in the process of cutting out the pockets and sewing it up.
That means allllllll of his pants must be done this way. Just to keep them from using the pockets and tearing the pants. Do they care that they are ripping his clothes to ruins? No, no they don't. If it was one of their loved ones, they'd be down my throat, ripping my head off over it. That's not to say that there are no caring nurses/cnas in the world; there are. The ones who work at this particular nursing home though seem not to give a flip.

Why don't I just move them into a different nursing home, you ask?

Because they are all like this in some form or fashion. The only ones that are worth their salt are the private pay nursing facilities. I just don't have $10,000 - $12,000 per month to put on each person. Yes, for those of you doing the math, that's $20K - $24K for both per month for private pay. I don't move them to another Medicaid-Accepted nursing home because I finally decided, after visiting/touring other ones, that it's better the devil you know than the devil you don't. I know what the problems are here. I would just be starting over at another nh with a whole new set of problems. If you visit your loved one more than once a week/month/whatever, you start to notice little things. These little things might be that they are only shaved twice a week (this would be painful for those whose facial hair grows fast), they aren't getting their teeth brushed (for those who still have their own teeth), letting them sit in their own waste for too long, leaving them in the bed (without turning) for 20 out of 24 hours, etc. I could keep going forever on this. One day, about 2 yrs ago, I visited my dad only to see dried vomit on the wall and floor. They had cleaned it off of him but didn't bother with the wall or floor. I've seen food left all over his face (how hard is it to use a freaking napkin on him???). All of this just in the nursing home he is in now. He went through many before this and they were even worse. This is where I had made the decision of the devil's choice. Instead of moving from place to place in hopes that we get a good one, we decided to stay and fight.

You have some options when you have a complaint. One nursing home (which was very far away from here), dropped my dad off at the nearest hospital and then called us. We were over 3 hours away. We had had no choice but to leave him in that deplorable nh because he was so aggressive at the time and nobody else would take him. I couldn't have him here with my kids and him become violent. That particular nursing home decided that they couldn't handle him after all and dumped him. Oooooooooh but guess what??? Nursing homes MUST give you 30 days notice before evicting a patient in my state. He was already at the hospital before they called me. I was livid to say the least. My mother, who was even more so, contacted the local ombudsman (sp?). They are like a guardian ad litem is to a child in court. They represent the patient and family against the nursing home. They are appointed by the state. That ombudsman did an immediate inspection/investigation into that facility. It only took a week for it to be shut down. I feel no guilt over having it closed down. None. The hospital where they had dropped him off, (bless their hearts!) scrambled like mad, trying to find another place for him.

I got the original call from the crappy nursing home at about 5:30 - 6:00pm while taking grandmama #2 to Wal-Mart. I had to drop her off at home, call my mother, get everything together, explain it to my husband and we (my mother and I) were on our way by 6:30 - 7:00pm. We found the hospital by 10:00pm. It takes until 12:00am to find a place for him which was 1 1/2 hrs away from the hospital. It was close to 2:00am when we got to the new place. Once we got him settled in, we drove home. We got home about 6:00am. I don't think I've ever been so tired. My eyes were starting to cross, literally, by the time we pulled into the driveway.

After having been through that, I don't want to start over again but I still have to stay one step ahead of the nursing home he's at now.

Do I have anything positive to say about the current nursing home? Yes, I do. We have had a few good nurses. They usually don't last long. They get run off by the crappy ones. We've had some really good physical/occupational therapists. The Physcian's Assistant who does most of the work there is awesome!

It's just a shame that the day-to-day nurses/cnas have no compassion.

Just one step ahead.