So Many Projects

I have so many projects that I want to do.

"So many" are the key words.

I think of stuff I want to do, actually get all the materials for the project and then..... nothing.
I think of another thing I want to do, get all the materials for it, lay them out next to the first project idea and then.... nothing.

And so it goes on until I have quite a few 'projects' lined up. By this time, I have overwhelmed myself. I get lost and can't find a starting point. If I can't find my starting point, I just sit, in frustration, looking at all of my unfinished (not even started) projects. Overwhelmed again.

I try to think back on the 'why' I had to do these projects in the first place. I had good intentions for them all. For example, I had pants (4 pair) to hem for my short-legged son (who is just like his short-legged mother). I also had tags to sew on for dad and granddad's clothes (approximately 36 pieces of clothing) for the nursing home. In the middle of all of that, I realize that my youngest son really needed a pair of pajama pants. I have them cut out and marked but not sewn. Before I had all of this, I started my first quilt. I made a nice little boo-boo in it so I set it to the side.

But wait. There's more!

I have the materials now to make a 'fall' wreath for granddaddy's door at the nursing home. He needs something to dress it up. I also wanted to get some other things to put up in his room to make it a little more homey. I have 4 stacks of books on my desk and 2 more bags of books in my closet and spread out around the house that need to be sold on ebay. They contribute to the clutter of my house as well as all the material for my so-called projects.

Why? Why do I do this to myself? Is it the need to keep up with the Joneses or to prove to myself that I can be creative? That I can produce something with my hands that is usable in some fashion or just to say that I can do that too like the Joneses? It reminds me of the drive of the blackbird who collects the 'shiny' things for the nest, even if they are not usuable. The problems are that now I have too many things to do (in with normal everyday things) and I feel like a failure every time I look at my pile of materials. Of course, this leads to "am I showing my kids how to fail?" type feeling. One failure lumped on top of another.

A friend told me that depression to her is like a black hole. A black hole is what I see when I look at my pile of unfinished or unstarted projects. It just sucks me in and holds me there until I can't breathe.

My solution to my problem..... I know what the solution is or rather I think I know. I think the answer lies in sorting them all out and picking the most important project first. Focus on it and not let the others distract me. It's a great answer. I've tried it before. Maybe I'll try it again, just as soon as I figure out which is most important.....