Until....

All seemed well until 8:15pm Sunday.
My other grandmother (gm#2) called from the local hospital to tell me that her husband, my granddaddy (gd#2), is being admitted for pneumonia. (I really need to look that word up to make sure I am spelling it correctly.) I could hardly hear her on the phone, which was strange because she talks so loudly (my gd#2 is all but deaf). She was talking softly (or the phone was messed up) and babbling at the same time. Something, something, something, granddaddy has pneuomonia, something, something, something, his son is sick, something, something, something. You get the picture. My gd#2 is actually my step-grandfather but I wouldn't admit that. I really love him. He's the sweetest man, second only to my other granddaddy. My gm#2 on the other hand is a scheming, manipulating witch of a woman. Ooooooooo, I typed that! Seriously, she has her good points but they are few and far in between. Anyway, all I got out of that conversation is that gd#2 was in the hospital with pneumonia, taking unknown antibiotics for it and morphine for the pain in his back on the upper left side.

Being that this was my 5th trip to the hospital since Nov 22nd, I'm starting to feel like a semi-expert. I would never aspire to be a doctor or a nurse by any means but I do get the gist of what should be happening.

I picked gm#2 up this morning at 8am sharp. She was ready to roll. I asked her if there was any place she would like to go before we got to the hospital. She said no so we went straight there. I was expecting gd#2 to be half out of it, kind of like what gd#1 was. Nope. He was in a right jolly mood. He was on another bag of iv fluid (the regular ol' stuff) and had just finished up some unisin (sp?...antibiotic). I finally got to talk to the nurse who couldn't tell me, while holding his chart, which lung the problem was in, if he had had a nebulizer treatment, why they were giving him so much fluid, his 02 sat or what the CT scan was for (that he was on his way down to at that moment). It just made me miss the big city hospital that I had frequented with the other granddaddy.

The CNA came in to take his vitals. She was hesitant to tell us what they were. His bp was 106/62 and his temp was 96.5. I asked what his 02 sat was. She said they only took it when they first come in and then only in the mornings. She did it anyway. It was 98% on 3 liters of oxygen. According to past experience, that was the time he needed to start being weaned off the oxygen. The CNA seemed unconcerned.

The reason I was concerned about gd#2 taking so much fluid is that he is and has been in a perpetual state of congestive heart failure. Rather than the fluid backing up in his extremities, it seemed to be backing up in his lungs, contributing to the pneumonia symptoms. I questioned the nurse later, again, and she said he would only be taking another 200 ccs. I'm wondering when his body is going to say "enough is enough". I assumed the CT scan was to check his heart for enlargement as well as a more in depth look at the infection. Who knows.

We also ran into a problem when the CNA came to take him to the CT scan. It seems that this set of grandparents have not bothered with a living will. I never realized it was so important until gd#1 got so sick. The CNA was asking if gd#2 was a "full code" (in simplistic terms, full code means that if his heart stops, they will make every attempt to resucitate him) or a DNR (Do Not Resucitate.... kind of obvious there). Gm#2 couldn't wrap her mind around what she was being asked, no matter how tactly I tried to put it. Soooooooooo, I asked her flat out. "If his heart stops, do you want them to try to make it start again?" This kind of set her back a bit. (I know she has now probably told 50 people that they were worried his heart would stop and that wasn't it at all.) She said she wanted him to be a full code. We now have an order in for both of them to make out living wills tomorrow at the hospital free of charge so there will be no question if/when the time comes. I explained to her that they were revocable if she changed her mind.

I left the hospital to come home and take care of a few things here (phone calls, laundry, etc). I went back with lunch for her about 1pm. She started prattling on about how gd#2's son's wife (my step-aunt) was wanting to put him in a nursing home. I talked to my step-aunt about this without telling her what gm#2 said exactly. The step-aunt says that gm#2 had talked to her about this very same thing and told her that he did not need a nursing home at this time. Just one more shining example of my gm#2 playing the ends against the middle. This would also be why I can't stand her (gm#2) presence for more than an hour. She makes every one of my nerves stretch taut and she is playing them like a harp. EGAD.

I took gm#2 home about 3pm. She was more than ready to go home which is out of character for her. She usually wants to stay with gd#2 24/7. I left a detailed msg with my name and number with my grandmother's blessing in front and with the nurse for the doctor to call me as soon as she had seen him. It's now 9:15pm and I haven't heard a thing. Yet another failing of the famous local hospital. What kills me is that they charge more than the big city hospital but their services are substandard. If gd#2 was sicker and if I could stand gm#2 for longer periods of time, I'd have requested he be transferred to the big city hospital.

Geeeezzzzzzzz, one thing after another. I was looking forward to having this Mon and Tues off from grandparent duty to catch up on my housework, personal life, kids and Christmas. Tomorrow, I have to drop off one child at middle school by 7am, the other two children at elementary school by 7:45am, pick up gm#2, drop her off by the hospital, go home and get the clothes finished for the nursing home, pick up gm#1, take her to the nh for a visit, take her back home, take gm#2 some lunch, try to catch the doctor, take gm#2 home, pick up the kids from gm#1's house, get them ready and go to a Christmas PTO where my youngest will be singing. I need to swing by Wal-Mart to pick up a camcorder tape to record the program since my husband is up in the northeast for work. Somehow I'll work in lunch for myself and supper for the 4 of us before the program.

I don't even want to talk about Wednesday or Thursday. It just gets worse.

I know nobody ever reads this stuff but it's so good to purge the soul this way. It's either this, prozac or a nice big shot of liquor. I never dreamed it would get so out of hand. It's like everybody assumes I'll pick up the pieces since I'm supposed to be a stay-at-home mom. I NEVER GET TO STAY AT HOME!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Granddaddy #1 update!

He is not bouncing back very well this time. I suppose we all expected it. His whatever-you-call-it-peptide test came back very high which means he is having some severe congestive heart failure. The pneumonia is a persistant kind and it's fighting back. Only time will tell. He can't get anymore antibiotics other than a little bit of levaquin he is on for fear of the dreaded c diff (which is diarrhea from hell because all the good bacteria in your intestines has been killed off). The PA says that if he gets hit by one more thing, it may be the thing that kills him. I fight the guilt every day that eats at me. It makes me feel like I've been selfish, wanting to keep him alive as long as possible. I look as far back as when the pacemaker was put in. Did we do the right thing? Should we have stopped him from getting the feeding tube? He bounced back right nicely physically but not mentally after that. Is this really the quality of life he deserves or would have wanted if he had been mentally aware of his situation????

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