The bathroom is to the right and the closet is to the left. I was standing in the 'bedroom' part when taking the pic. For a person who has never built a room before, this wasn't too bad at all! lol
I'll probably post a few more pics later.
Well, the husband is out of town again. It's for work as usual. He took a co-worker with him to show him the ropes. Fun, fun, fun. I get to stay here and 'keep the home fires burning'. GACK. I'm starting to wonder about my own sanity; staying behind to keep up with 3 kids, 2 houses (one is for sale on the market), a grandmother who tried to jump out of my van while it was still moving, a granddaddy and daddy in a nursing home and my mother who is still scheming and manipulating. Let's not forget the 2 cats and a dog. I'm working on a really nice headache right now too. At least I got supper cooked and served.
I think I feel slightly overwhelmed. It took me a few (gazillion) years to figure out what that panicky feeling was from. I would always get that panicky feeling and blame it on whatever current crisis was going on in my life (or what I 'thought' was a crisis). Now it's just a general feeling of being overwhelmed. Add one more load to my backpack, mister, and I'm going to crumble, straight into the earth.
What is wrong with me? What is so wrong that I can't handle things normal people do? I think about going back to work and that's an immediate panic attack. There were certain things, certain parts of the job I could do without problem. It was when I was back in an office setting that it went to hell in a handbasket. Maybe it's just pure laziness. I joke about that often, about being too lazy. There are some days that I am the epitome of laziness. There are some days that I am running and running and I think the day will never end. Those particular days will stretch on for weeks and sometimes months. I feel the depression creeping back and fear takes it's place...straight into panic city.
Today was like a double day. I was lazy the first half and running my butt off the last half. I even managed to get into an argument with my husband, hanging up on him before I said something I would regret.
We are selling my grandmother's house. The main goal is to get her moved down here to my house so I can take care of her (to keep her from going into a nursing home as long as possible). I already have daddy and granddaddy there, I don't need another person to visit. We are selling her house, with her permission, of course. She has bounced back and forth with wanting to give her stuff away. She is concerned my sister feels left out. I think my mother has been fostering that feeling for her. I have told her time and again to do what she wants to do with her stuff. Keep it forever, throw it away, sell it or give it to whomever she pleases. She feels like she is supposed to give it all to me because I am taking care of her but it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to cause problems with my sister down the road. I think it is going to come to a head soon because of the things being said here and there.
Dealing with the feeling that my sister is going to get angry with me over this is driving me crazy. Not to mention, handling the sale of the house while grandmama is still living in it. Everytime there is a showing, I have to go up there, clean up, and bring her down here. She undoubtedly feels out of place down here and is ready to go the minute the people looking at the house are supposed to be done, no matter that I'm in the middle of cooking supper, helping with homework, taking a shower or just going to the bathroom. In all of my good intentions, did I set myself up for a trip to the funny farm?? She constantly says, "just shoot me, I ain't no good for nothing anymore". Good God! How many times do I have to hear it??? I try to bite my tongue and say the appropriate things.... 'grandmama, we don't have to do this if you don't want to.... grandmama, please don't say that anymore.....grandmama, you don't have to worry about anything....'.
We have really good agents. He and his wife work as a team and have been very understanding about the whole thing. I couldn't have asked for better real estate agents. He and his wife laid everything out on the table in terms that were understandable. They have answered the many questions I have put to them. It's just hard to let go of a house I spent so much time in and also that it's hurting my grandmother to do this, even though she agreed.
This addition we'll be building will come from the sale of grandmama's house. My husband and I are starting to disagree on stupid little things. I keep asking myself if it is worth it. I keep reminding myself that this is to take care of a woman who took very good care of me. Part of me wants to be selfish and run as far away as I can. So many freaking issues. The sale of the house, the building of the bedroom in the basement, the anticipation of building the addtion, the kids and each of their issues, my dad's latest development or shall we say 'undevelopment' of swallowing (which means he's heading downhill fast), and granddaddy's feeding tube leaking. And freaking laundry, laundry, laundry. A never-flipping-ending pile of laundry.
Maybe I'll be a little more upbeat tomorrow if I get back here.....
